TEN COMMANDMENTS OF SPORTS
For Parents
I Make sure your child knows that, win or lose, scared or heroic, you love him, appreciate his efforts and are not disappointed in him. This will allow him to do his best without the fear of failure. Be the person in his life he can look to for constant positive reinforcement.
II Try your best to be completely honest about your child's athletic ability, competitive attitude, sportsmanship and his/her actual skill.
III Be helpful, but don't coach him on the way to the pool, or on the way back, or at breakfast and so on. It's tough not to, but it's a lot tougher for the child to be inundated with advice, pep talks and often critical instruction.
IV Teach him/her to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be "out there trying", to be working to improve his/her skills and attitude. Help him to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard and for having fun.
V Try not to re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure; you fumbled too. You lost as well as won. You were frightened, you backed off at times, and you were not always heroic. Don't pressure him/her because of your lost pride.
VI Don't compete with the coach. If the coach becomes an authority figure, it will run from enchantment to disenchantment, etc. with your abilities.
VII Don't compare the skill, courage or attitudes of your child with other members of the team, at least not within his/her hearing.
VIII Get to know the coach so that you can be assured that his/her philosophy, attitudes, ethics and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under his/her leadership.
IX Always remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized. Temper your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
X Make a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb mountains and are afraid to fight. Some of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but is action in spite of fear or discomfort. The job of an athletic child is a tough one, and it takes a lot of effort to do it well.
